Frolic Presenter Bios!

Welcome Back Presenter Ms. J!

Classes she will be teaching:

Fireplay 101: C’mon Baby, Light My Fire 

Do you want to learn fireplay instead of just watching it? Ms. J will take you safely from nervous fire novice to enthusiastic pyromaniac. In this class you will watch, learn, and (with time permitting) try a tiny bit of hands-on fireplay yourself.
Ms. J begins with an explanation of general preparation and fire safety for you, your bottom, and your venue. Then construction and fire kit contents. Learn to warm up your fire bottom by starting small and increasing the amount of flame to get your bottom’s endorphins flowing. Tips for bottoms will include communicating with your top, a breathing technique to process the sensations, and aftercare for the bottom.  
Come on, try it, become one of Ms. J’s baby fire-dragons!

Fireplay 301: The Firestorm 

So, you learned basic fireplay, and now you want to learn those bigger, better, badder fire techniques. Ms. J will teach you how to use the fire glove, play with mousse, use flash cotton, play with butane bubbles, and throw a fireball. Each of these topics will include their own specific safety tips and techniques. As time permits, a hands-on portion will be included. 

It is not required that you attend the Intro to Fire class, but if you are new to any type of fireplay, it is highly suggested that you attend it, as safety tips in the advanced class build upon safety learned in the Intro class. 

Sensual Savagery

A delicate brush of the hand up the breast...slowly traversing up the neck...pausing slightly to caress the ear...then a formidable fist full of hair...the hushed whisper “I’ma fuck you up…while your partner just watches and does nothing!” The slow retreat of the hand as though this interaction was a sensual and intimate exchange between you two.

The juxtaposition of soft and sensual with the sadistic will leave your partner’s head swooning. Mixing massage with pressure points; the bump-and-grind for a tease of sexual intimacy on their leg with a knee to the genitalia; passionate kisses with a nip to the lip; a sweet hug with the deprivation of air will leave them in a daze. This class is a delightful compilation of rough body play, pressure points, and sexual intimacy directly appealing to any connection and reaction junkies. Come play with Ms. J to discuss and see how to make your inner Sensual Sadist flourish.

Devil’s Fire / Micro-branding / Cell Popping

What is Devil’s Fire, microbranding, cell popping, and body modification? Are they the same or are they different? Does a rose by any other name still smell as sweet? Does that metal by any other name still burn as fiercely???

Ms. J will discuss tools and fuels, negotiation, techniques, safety, and aftercare. Is your scene about creating a design or giving them a floaty endorphin high? You will learn how to make your design and transfer it to your bottom. A demo portion will be included so you can see this type of play in action. 

Ms. J - BIO

Ms. J (she/her) identifies as the Happy Bouncy Sadist, Nana-Dragon pyromaniac, Agent of Chaos, Mama Bear to many, Connection Junkie, Purveyor of bruise poking, a bus-driving RACK playing mostly toppy kinda girl, and a blissfully married monogamish human. 

Although best known for her kinky fireplay passion, Ms. J also enjoys rough body play coupled with soft and gentle contact for that ultimate mind fuck in impact play, blade play with a sharp and shiny to slice off your clothes, the sticky sloppy wet sensations of food play, and drive-by dork play. Want to make her day — ask her to slap you!

Yurt Auction

Enjoy The Frolic in a beautiful 18-foot yurt in the heart of 40 acres of forest. Relax in our community seven-foot cedar hot tub and watch the sunset over our beautiful property. Connect with others in a serene and playful nature space.

The yurt includes a nice fluffy bed with sheets, a clean flat floor, a solar-powered mini heater, lots of room to spread out and chill with friends under a roof, and beautiful decor in a comfy Mongolian yurt. 

The current bid as of Thursday evening is $280. Bidding runs until noon 4/22! (Read bidding rules on the auction website!)

Place you bid HERE

(Must buy a ticket separately or a bid will not be accepted.)

Don’t miss out on the most amazing kinky camping convention this summer! For more information, click on thecspc.org/frolic2024.

Finding Freedom in Fear: Part 2

By Turtle 


Read Part 1 HERE.

Part 2 will cover techniques and other referential possibilities that you can utilize to diminish the fear effect over time.

  • Techniques: 4Rs and 3Cs

  • Foods

  • Over the Counter: always do your own research and consult your physician 

  • Skills

  • Apps


The four Rs of Resilience:

  1. Rest - sleep

  2. Relaxation - stress relief

  3. Replenishment - diet

  4. Release - exercise

Following these well-documented ideas can help set the stage (your body and mind) for successful scenes, relationships, and a fantastic life.

It's easier to be in control of your “self” if you set yourself up for success. Get adequate sleep by practicing good sleep hygiene. Most of your REM cycles are toward the end of your sleeping cycle. Make sure the last part of your sleep period is undisturbed. If you feel your body start to be reactive, immediately start using calming techniques. 

Relax doing something you really enjoy. If you can't do your favorite hobby, for example,, then use a positive memory of it to begin quieting your mind. Imagine yourself running or playing the flute, painting, or riding a motorcycle, whatever you love.

Everyone knows how important it is to eat properly. However, many are stuck in the old food pyramid taught in elementary school. The incredible amount of research available can be overwhelming. Start by reviewing the basics or talk to a licensed nutritionist. Sometimes this may mean preparing healthy meals for the next day for a special playdate later in the evening. 

Exercise in whatever manner you can. Exercise can consist of meditation and envisioning yourself doing something athletic that you enjoy. People will often make excuses because they don't have the time to get out and do their preferred activity. Or they might have a difficult diagnosis that interferes with the ability to exercise. So, we need to do what we can mentally. This might be sitting in one place and clenching your toes, then slowly moving up your body, squeezing and relaxing all the muscles as you go. You are checking in with yourself. The more you do this, the more cognizant of your internal landscape you will become and it will help you move forward to remaining healthy as you get older.

The three Cs of handling anxiety:

  1. Calm Techniques - calm your body

  2. Coping Strategies - correct your thinking

  3. Communication Skills - confront your fears

The three Cs are the next step to building resilience by handling how you respond to your experience. 

We all have moments of “cognitive distortion.” This is often displayed by assumptions that cause us to jump to conclusions using faulty logic and then overthinking by chasing the idea around and around and around in our heads.

This can happen by assuming the “what” others think of us or the “why” others did something a certain way. It ramps up our anxiety and releases the hormones that raise our blood pressure and breathing rate. Then, should we apply that anxiety to whatever event or thing we are nervous about in the first place, the wheels come off our ability to reason. We become prey in our lizard brain, running from an apocalypse. 

Calming your body can be done with a wide variety of techniques ranging from rhythmic breathing to visualization to simply being present at the moment. The internet, your friends and family, and the doctor will all have ideas for you. Try out many different techniques and keep those that work best for you personally!

Coping strategies can be doing a stable repetition of activities that take your brain “offline” from the rat race. This can be as simple as reading, writing, having a slow cup of tea, a long bath, gaming…anything that allows your gray matter to shift gears daily. These also include more advanced ideas such as personal or group therapy, support groups, and cognitive behavioral therapy.

The more advanced technique discussed above can also be utilized to confront your fears, reframe what you are experiencing, and communicate your needs both to others and yourself. It's healthy to question yourself and challenge your thoughts. Some patterns are ingrained in us as children and this is the best way to make choices for yourself versus just rewriting someone else's history. Accept your anxiety and ask yourself what it is trying to tell you. Perhaps something you learned by rote as a child is irritating your current self because you have a core belief that needs to be questioned and refrained.


Brain Foods: 

Just a short list of foods that have been shown to help focus and mental resilience. Which ones do you enjoy?

Extra dark chocolate, leafy greens, broccoli, avocados, green tea, chia or flax seeds, beans and lentils, bananas, honey, eggs, peanuts/natural peanut butter


Over the Counter/Natural Remedies: (always do your own research and consult your physician)

  • B-9 & B-12 (to help metabolize serotonin)

  • 5-HTP (for focus)

  • CBD

  • Kava kava

  • Chamomile 

  • Lavender

  • Omega-3 fatty acids

  • Folic Acid

  • L-theanine

  • Magnesium 

  • Ashwagandha

  • Valerian root

  • Vitamin D


Skills

  1. Meditation

  2. Music

  3. Relaxation Techniques

  4. Breathing - breathe through the panic

  5. Avoid stimulants like coffee, alcohol, caffeine, energy drinks

  6. Exercise

  7. Share your feelings in a safe atmosphere 

  8. Challenge yourself for growth (face your fears, imagine the worst and rewrite the possibilities, look at real documented evidence to apply against fearful thoughts, exposure therapy)

  9. Take time out and reward yourself.

  10. Go back to the basics of living. Stick to a routine.

  11. Remind yourself of ways to stay safe. Have a plan.

  12. Learn to be assertive and build your self-esteem.

  13. Don't try to be “perfect.” It's a false illusion. Be yourself! 

  14. Have fun!


Apps

Apps for your phone and computer can help develop resilience, expand your horizons, unlock personal growth, and increase your well-being and fulfillment. Do your own research and use one that actually stimulates your mind so that you'll use it effectively. 

Broaden Your Mind

Other Community Events to Enjoy!

The CSPC throws amazing parties and hosts many important discussions on various topics. But luckily, we live in a place where there are many more options to dive into sex- and body-positive culture. The list below is just a sampling of some great events coming up in the next month.

We include non-CSPC events in the first issue each month. If you have an event suggestion, please email Marissa at newsletter@thecspc.org and it might make it into our next issue!

April 13–27

Consent Academy: The Accountability Series ($105–$180 | online)

Accountability processes and pods have the potential to repair relationships and strengthen communities. At the same time, they are also very specific, time and labor intensive methods of creating accountability with plenty of risks associated with them. This spring, join the Consent Academy for a series on the skills and knowledge needed to increase your chances of a successful accountability process or pod. Each class will be recorded for later viewing.

April 18-27

On the Boards: Cherdonna & The Bearded Ladies | Threesome ($20–$29 | in person)

Welcome to Threesome: an evening of three solo drag, dance, and cabaret artists searching for stability while living in uncertainty with all the tools they can find in an active auto body shop. Expect an hour of pleasure, punk rock, and spectacle.

April 21

Sex Positive World: Sexy Intersections: Anti-Oppression and Sex Positivity ($0–$25 | online)

This class helps us all think about the many power dynamics that affect us when we interact in sex positive community. This is a core class in SPW for all of us wanting to learn more about how we show up/speak up/receive feedback from others when we share space together. 

April 21

Sex Positive World: Journey Through Time ($0–$25 | online)

Ancient India, the land of Hinduism, Buddhism, Jainism, Sikhism, Tantra, the land that birthed plenty of religions, spiritual quests and philosophical journeys, also generated several LGBTQ+ tales that were deliberately hidden when preaching the New-Age Hinduism.

April 26–29

Seattle Erotic Art Festival ($28–$350 | in person)

The annual weekend-long event that showcases erotic art in diverse media including painting, photography, sculpture, film, literature, and interactive installations. A wide range of performance art is also represented, including burlesque, ballroom dance, circus arts, and live music.

April 28

Sex Positive World: Toying with the Unseen: Energy Play w/ Miss Mackenzee ($0–$35 | online)

Within this workshop you’ll learn how energy play can create spiritual and transcendental experiences for yourself and your partner(s).

The Frolic 2024 - April 4 Teaser

The Frolic 2024

For more information, visit our website 

Or the FetLife Event

Join The Frolic! Group Discussion on FetLife

August 6–11, 2024

All humans 18+ are welcome. Tickets available for members and nonmembers!

Tickets must be purchased online; there are no door sales. Please note: ticket sales for The Frolic are final; they are not refundable or transferable to other events.

The Frolic Team has worked our fingers to exhaustion to create an incredible experience! We can't wait to release bios of the incredible presenters showcasing a diverse range of topics. We are even buying our camp swag on Redbubble already!

Even though The Frolic is a six-day, five-night experience, it’ll feel like a place without time as you immerse yourself in kinky classes, fun social activities, and break bread with your community. 

Visit our website for detailed information and keep an eye out on future articles for our presenter bios! We’ll have more information on our classes, activities, and menu as we get closer to the event.

Want to have a sneak peek at the venue? The Frolic Team is collaborating with the venue owners on two stewardship days! Click here to sign up and join us on May 4 and/or June 16 from 10 a.m. – 3 p.m. where we’ll have various levels of volunteering as we help the owners work on their property. Lunch will be provided, and for those joining on May 4, you’re welcome to stay for the Beltane celebration. Accommodations will be provided for those who would like to clean up and change before the celebration. Note: Venue address will be sent out three days before each stewardship day via text message. 

If you have any questions, concerns, or run into any issues signing up for stewardship, please email froliccommservice@thecspc.org. Any other questions/concerns can be sent to frolic@thecspc.org

TICKETS

Tickets are on sale NOW!

The next tier goes on sale immediately after the previous one sells out. 

Get your tickets here!

$275 per person Early Bird tickets for the first 25 people

$300 per person Second Tier tickets for the next 25 people

$325 per person Third Tier tickets until we are sold out at 150 attendees including volunteers

*There is limited free ticketing for volunteers working the entire event. If you are interested, please complete this questionnaire to notify us of your interest, and a Frolic Lead will contact you!

PARKING AND TRANSPORTATION

(Per vehicle):

  • ADA [upper] - limited spaces, by request (Disability parking permits are required)

  • Secondary parking [in/out privileges]: $40

  • Tertiary parking [parking shuttle provided]: $30 

  • Car camping: $50 (in camping area, not parking lot)

  • Additional for an RV (hook-ups are not available): $75

  • Additional for tent trailer (includes a parking pass for vehicle towing trailer): $60

  • Round trip ride from the Sumner Sounder Station $10

ENTERTAINMENT AND EDUCATION - COMING SOON!

Two presenter bios will appear in every newsletter! See all the classes when you buy your ticket!

VIP ROOMS

We have five yurts to auction! Imagine spending The Frolic nights toasty and cozy inside a beautifully decorated Mongolian yurt with a queen-size bed. Please keep in mind that your ticket to The Frolic is not included and must be purchased separately. Bidding is for the add-on VIP room only.

Yurts: Auction Dates

  1. Gaia Yurt: Auction is LIVE! Ends April 22

  2. Soul Yurt: Auction starts April 23, ends May 13

  3. Heart Yurt: Auction starts May 14, ends June 3

  4. Prism Yurt: Auction starts June 4, ends June 24

  5. Celestial Yurt: Auction starts June 25, ends July 15 (16' Dome Yurt with electricity)

The Frolic 2024 - Call for Volunteers

The Frolic - Facilities Co-Lead

The Department Leads are the pillars of success when it comes to this annual Frolic summer event. The Facilities department maintains the property, orders equipment and helps our Setup/Strike department with assembly/take down, collaborates with the venue owners and other departments to ensure a smooth relay for all, and more. We are looking for our second Co-Lead to volunteer with the pre-planning and 20 on-site hours and in return, you’ll be given free admission to the event. Our Leads never ride solo, so you’ll also have the guidance of your Frolic Directors and a veteran Frolic volunteer who led Facilities previously. If you’re self-motivated, have confident negotiating skills, and can lead a team, we invite you to join our team! Fill out this two-minute questionnaire and follow up with an email to frolicfacilities@thecspc.org so we can discuss this amazing opportunity! 

The Frolic - Registration Co-Lead

Hello Future Frolic Volunteer!! 

My name is Carter and I am the Registration Co-Lead for The Frolic 2024 event. I am excited to be working with The Frolic team this year with planning and getting the behind-the-scenes ready!! We currently have an opening for another Registration Co-Lead! If you are someone who is dedicated to the CSPC and likes planning, please fill out this two-minute questionnaire and follow up with an email to frolicregistration@thecspc.org so we can discuss this amazing opportunity! We will be very happy to have you!!


Join Turtle and Mina, 2024 Frolic Co-Directors, at the next monthly virtual meeting on April 18th at 7:15 p.m.! 

The CSPC is a volunteer-based organization and we wouldn't be able to do all these fun events without our members donating their time to help create this space for their community. We're looking for folx with active CSPC memberships who may be interested in becoming a Frolic volunteer for leadership positions, web designers, presenters, etc.

Interested but have questions? Please join us! You do not need to register in advance, just click the Zoom link below when it's time for the meeting. 

The Frolic Team meets virtually every third Thursday at 7:15 p.m. As we get closer to the event, we'll add on additional meeting times.

Hope to see you there!

P.S. Volunteers are required to complete our self-service “Volunteer Orientation.” Click here to start the process!


Join Zoom Meeting

https://us06web.zoom.us/j/84807638157

Meeting ID: 848 0763 8157

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Find your local number: https://us06web.zoom.us/u/kwHl1L8Ig

April (Non)Event Reminder

Hi sexy CSPC members!

As a reminder, every April the event listings can look a bit…empty toward the end of the month. This is because our wonderful sister organization, the Pan Eros Foundation, hosts the Seattle Erotic Art Festival, a three-day event that celebrates the freedom of expression and sex positivity through various forms of art, including painting, photography, sculpture, film, literature, performance, and more! We highly encourage you to spend the last weekend of April at SEAF, and soak in the sexy, kinky, artsy atmosphere. 

P.S. See also our alert for SEAF volunteers!

More Volunteer Opportunities - SEAF 2024

So many of you are so wonderful at stepping up to volunteer for CSPC parties, online discussions, and innumerable behind-the-scenes tasks. And there are even more ways to spread that joy in the sex- and kink-positive world in Seattle! The Seattle Erotic Art Festival is happening from April 26-28 and they LOVE volunteers. 


Click here to read about the perks of being a SEAF volunteer and the positions that are still available!

Finding Freedom In Fear, Part 1

by Turtle


Trigger Warning: The following article discusses cutting, edge play, and blood play.

Fear is one of the basics of the human experience. People argue whether it's physical or emotional, or whether both feed off of each other to create a more intense experience. There's also quite a bit of confusion for non-psychology professionals about where anxiety ends and fear starts.

[TW: Edge Play (cutting)] 

Feel free to skip ahead to the next section. 

I'm remembering my first *attempt* at a cutting scene. My owner, at the time, did not prepare me for what was to follow. He hung up plastic, but I was sitting in my required pre-scene pose and couldn't see what was being set up. When I was told to stand, I could see a medical setup and scalpels. 

I froze. I didn't blink. I didn't inhale or exhale until prodded to take my position standing at the cross. 

“Breathe,” he whispered in my ear. He touched me firmly to calm me, holding my shoulders square. 

I squeezed my eyes shut. My pulse accelerated like a bomb in my chest. I fought to maintain my breathing, focusing on the very act itself. The world narrowed to a cataclysmic single point. I heard him snap on gloves. The fire of the scalpel cut lightly on my upper back. I felt a drop of warm blood drip slowly, rolling in an infinitely micro motion down my spine. I learned what the word “swoon” means. My view of the world tilted, warped like looking through water. The ground upended. I was ignominiously on my ass on the plastic, cold concrete sharp on my skin. 

He was disappointed but realized I needed different tactics. Aftercare was imminent. 

On another day, we sat in his man cave. He laid out all his tools for the scene. He explained how they were used. The dynamics of skin and choosing patterns as well as what I can expect to experience. 

Another day, I watched him do several small cuttings on other people. I assisted by handing him tools and caring for the bottom. 

Finally, he told me that we'd be doing a cutting scene the following week. I was assigned to think up every dire situation and try to imagine it. It's rather difficult. (Understatement!) Lastly, on that fateful day, he had me do the scene setup. Instead of standing, I sat backwards in a chair. I chose two small designs and traced them on tattoo paper, a triquetra and a pentagram. The scene was an exponentially divergent intimacy in comparison to my previous attempt. 

The decorative cuttings were refreshed several times over two years. They can still be seen as faint scars on the back of each shoulder. 

I've come to love blood play. 

I'm certainly a long way down the road from passing out.

[END TW]


Anxiety and fear are reactions to events and objects — real or imagined — that a human is triggered by. Things we sense as a threat to ourselves psychologically, emotionally, or physically. They trigger our “lizard brain” to dust off our survival instincts. Most will act to protect themselves and what they care for in whatever manner that they can, no matter how extreme it appears to other viewers. Fear trips into phobia when it alters our normal responses and interferes with life. 

You are an entire being. Everything you experience affects the rest of your reality. Whether it’s anxiety built up due to a big, stressful event (e.g., a death, a wedding, moving) or a bunch of smaller issues (e.g., being late from work, low sleep, poor diet, high anticipation), the stockpile of stress can escalate high anxiety to a state of pure fear when you enter a new BDSM or sexual experience. You become much more sensitive to upsetting your internal weathervane. 

Your inner self can be operated with the awareness of how the dominoes fall so you can prepare to avoid it. Physically, your heart rate and blood pressure quicken. This is due to the amygdala early warning system alerting your body to prepare to “fight, flight, freeze, or fawn,” flooding your body with hormones like cortisol and adrenaline. If you are paying attention, you can feel the flush like a wave crashing through your body. The emotions you are feeling at that instant dictate how you react to the hormones; pleasure or fear. 

NOTE: I'll tell you how to hijack your brain for pleasure later. 

Some of your brain will short out, while the rest takes off like a Ferrari in the European Grand Prix. Your reasoning is offline and rationalizing is now impaired. 404 Error! 

Determining what is real and NOT real goes out the window. Although many people are still convinced they are acting rationally, it's clear their brain chemistry is altered. 

People who enjoy horror movies or who have harnessed their fears can learn to wait out the hormone flush rush to experience the high of leftover dopamine once the fear subsides. Dopamine elicits pleasure. It's called the excitation-transfer process. It is one of the reasons people are drawn to BDSM and new sexual proclivities.


How to deal with high anxiety and fear in the moment. 

  1. Miscount. Ask your partner to have you repeat after them. Then, they just miscount numbers. Example: 43, 72, 12, 55, 1. It interrupts your brain pattern. 

  2. The 5-4-3-2-1 method. 

    1. Name five things you can see. 

    2. Name four things you can touch.

    3. Name three things you can hear. 

    4. Name two things you can smell.

    5. Name one thing you can taste.

  3. The 3-3-3 method is similar. 

    1. Name three things you can hear.

    2. Name three things you can see. 

    3. Name three different body parts. 

  4. Relaxation Technique: Shrug your shoulders up to your ears and hold for a few seconds. Then, drop them back to their normal position.

  5. Breathing to four counts. 

    1. Count to four slowly as you breathe IN through your nose. 

    2. Count to four as you breathe OUT through your mouth. 

  6. “Squirrel!” Distract yourself with your go-to giggle today. I saw a video of a dog who learned to catch the same poor mole over and over for his treat fix. Then, he taught his doggy friends. Someone just saying “moles for dog treats” will set me to internal giggle. 


Lastly, how to hijack your own brain! 

This requires practice but is well worth it. Choose a memory of true joy, a huge moment of transformative joy. I have a short list of go-to best hits. My best friend's memory is of getting married. He turns instantly into a big, happy, romantic goof! I love it! 

You will imagine it fully, using all your senses. Full senses: smell it, feel it, taste it, hear it, see it. Be in that moment! If it was sunny, feel the sun on your skin. Practice it randomly several times a day until you can instantly be there in your mind. Then, when you feel that hormone flush, let yourself be in that joyful moment and your brain will switch the gear from fear to pleasure. It takes practice, but is well worth the effort! Neuroplasticity for the win!